Sunday, December 28, 2008

Martinelli's Sparkling Cider

During the holiday season, it is important to be well versed in the traditions and customs of Mormons, as you will likely be invited to at least one Mormon social gathering. During the holiday season, Mormons suffer from one problem in particular; the need to feel classy at social gatherings without being able to drink alcohol. What is a Latter Day Saint in good standing to do to commemorate the passing of another year or a wedding anniversary?

How about a toast with Martinelli's Sparkling Cider?

You can tell that Martinelli's is classy because it is topped in foil, has a sophisticated gold seal, cannot be opened without a bottle opener, was established in 1868 (unlike other faux champaigne sparkling beverages) and because it costs roughly 3.5 times as much as a bottle of Sprite. Fortunately for the thrifty Saint, Martinelli's does go on special frequently. In fact, the discerning Mormon consumer can, at certain times, pick up the Costco four pack, to take care of New Years, their Anniversary, Thanksgiving dinner, and one "wild card" bottle for the unanticipated event, or to drink privately, alone, the same way an alcoholic might.

Martinelli's, unlike Meier's, Kristian Regale, or heaven forbid Welch's (the Mormon cider snob's kicking post, much like Ernest and Julio Gallo for wine drinkers), has won myriad awards, including the Sacramento (1890), San Francisco (1894), Atlanta (1895), Buffalo (1901), Seattle (1909), and San Francisco again (1914). While one may surmise that there is a super sparkling cider out there that has been hogging the glory in the 94 years since Martinelli's has been absent from the sparkling cider awards circuit, those ciders are not on sale at Smith's, Albertson's, Von's, or Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market.

You will note that in spite of not drinking alcohol, most Mormon's have, at least, two wine glasses that will be used 2-5 times a year for these classy cider sipping events. If a Mormon is too worried about the appearance of evil in keeping wine glasses, plastic wine glasses can be had for a small price, but this is a decidedly less classy move.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I used to drink Martinelli's but have recently switched to a new brand I found called Kristian Regále. I am not Morman but I have many Mormon friends who like to have something in their glasses during toasts and other champagne events. I usually use a carbonated juice drink such as Kristian Regále (its healthier than cola and other mixers and comes in varies different fruit flavors!) to make them feel more at home. I find the “fizz” that you get when using Kristian Regále adds to the fun, “party atmosphere” of the summer time while at the same time giving off feeling of class and sophistication in comparison to plain flat-drinks. My favorites are Kristian Regále Pomegranate-Apple Sparkler and Kristian Regále Peach Sparkler. Best of all they’re non-alcoholic so the kids can enjoy them as well. I usually stock up my supply for the summer with a trip to IKEA, who carries all of their flavors. Enjoy!