Sunday, February 1, 2009

Checking Out A TV From The Library to Catch The Big Game

The life of discipline, righteousness, and self-denial is rigorous, and it can wear down even the most stalwart and die-hard Mormon. To make sure that the spiritual boiler of the soul doesn't blow, it is critical for Mormons to find ways to release steam in slightly mischievious, yet not overtly evil ways. Checking out a TV to catch a big game during their block of meetings is an example of this phenomenon.

This ritual is simple, usually requiring 2-4 co-conspirators. A young men's advisor or other figure in a position of authority checks out a television (usually under the suspicious eye of the librarian) while one or more other men scout for a room not being used by a class/auxilary. After some finagleing and some type of makeshift rabbit years are found to pick up the game, rumors will spread like wildfire throughout other meetings about who is watching the game, and where they are watching it. It is important to keep the game a small gathering, as snowballing numbers may call too much attention to the event, and then the jig will be up.

Observers should understand that Bishops and Stake Presidents are not immune from this behavior, especially if they fit the "fun loving Bishop/Stake President" archetype. Remember, these are the same men that, in their youth, arranged to open the Stake Center on Saturdays when BYU played and used the satellite to pick up the game.

It is also important to note that DVRs have not diminished this behavior, as having been a part of this clandestine endeavor is a coming of age event that young men and slightly rebellious (but not TOO rebellious) leaders are required to take part in at least once in their life. Rabid fans are also cautioned not to pray for their preferred team to win, as this will almost assuredly guarantee a loss for them.


Anonymous said...

Ok, I've only heard of this in those cheesy Mormon movies. That's just sad if you can't wait till the next day to watch the game. Get a life if you can't! Sunday church is for church stuff, not ridiculous "rituals" of games and the like. Some of us actually like church.

Anonymous said...

I had no idea this was going on in Priesthood!How do you guys get all your lessons in?