While in its heyday, the “BMW” or Big Mormon Wagon referred to a Suburban or other heavy Sport Utility Vehicle, gas prices and Mormon chic has ushered in a new era of official vehicular dominance in Mormon circles; the two headed beast of the Toyota Sienna/Honda Odyssey.
Every transportation related discussion in the last 5-6 years in Mormon circles has revolved around these two vehicles, with the tie-breaker on a year to year basis going to which of the big two won the Consumer Reports annual face-off. Every conversation has either contained the phrase “We just got a Sienna/Odyssey” or “We’re thinking about getting a Sienna/Odyssey”, even if the person saying it has no intention of doing it.
The Sienna/Odyssey has grown in popularity owing to several factors. First among them the fact that smaller families may drive around in a vehicle designed for a bigger family without feeling stupid. This increases their feelings of Mormon-ness, as it is completely acceptable for a family with as few as two children to own the Sienna/Odyssey. As Mormons multiply and replenish the Earth, it also affords them room to expand, or at least leaves the option open even if a couple has no intention of having more than two children. Owning a Sienna/Odyssey is often a great way of never having to answer the question “So, are you planning to have more kids?”
In the Latter days as Mormons seek to eliminate all aesthetics that the secular world would use to oppress and persecute them, many are downgrading Suburbans and Tahoes to the Sienna/Odyssey to appear more environmentally friendly. “Hey, look at me! I may buck the societal conventions of having a small family, but I drive a socially responsible Sienna/Odyssey! Instead of getting 17 miles to the gallon, I get 22!” Because of this, it is anticipated that as Hybrid Sienna/Odysseys reach wide release, they will overtake the current Sienna/Odysseys as the official mode of Mormon transportation.
Mormon women wishing to convince their husbands to ditch their dreams of SUVs should point out the remote side door control and built in DVD options, whereupon their men will promptly ask to speak to a sales associate.
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5 comments:
"...as it is completely acceptable for a family with as few as two children to own the Sienna/Odyssey."
Not really, but whatever makes you sleep better, Steve.
Of course, a third kid will legitimize your Sienna ownership...
Okay, I admit it--I adore my Honda Odyssey. I love love love the remote side door controls and the built-in DVD rocks my world. It is 7 years old, with 120,000 miles--does that count toward environmental responsibility? (Of course, my environmental street cred is blown when you realize I have four kids and counting...)
It does seem like everyone here in Utah Valley has a Toyota or Honda minivan. My favorite, however, was the Odyssey I saw in Orem one day. The license plate read "Illiad".
Hilarious!
Zar, owning a Sienna/Odyssey means never having to answer the question of having more kids. I would be remiss as an editor/contributor on this blog to go against protocol.
Suffice it to say, if we don't have another child, we will simply add acrylic stickers of our family members as stickfigures/sea turtles to the back of our van, so it looks like we are rolling with more peeps than we really are.
We LOVE our Odyssey. Our favorite perk: Beign able to remove the captains chairs and fold down the back seat to fit a small piano. Maybe music/soccer can be your next musing. As for the vinly turtles; we prefer various sports balls.
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