Sunday, November 23, 2008

Self Improvement

I'd like to perform a quick experiment. Please open your wallet. Is there a temple recommend? Yes? Excellent, now kindly step away from your computer and go to your bookshelf. When you get there, I'd like you to peruse your titles. I'll wait.

Back? What did you find there? Most likely, you found a copy of the standard works, some church history books, your wife's copies of the Twilight books and Harry Potter, and, yes, you saw a copy of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Chances are, you're not sure where you got it, a well meaning family member, a kind hearted bishop, but if you are in fact Mormon, you own a copy of the apocryphal standard work. The 7 Habits are the fifth Beatle of the standard works. If you were not previously aware, as a Mormon, you are required to own this book, and likely a great deal more, because you have a passion for self improvement.

Self improvement goes beyond just wanting to be a good person. As a recommend carrying member, every Mormon has signed on for eternal progression. No lounging about on clouds with harps for you, no, you will be eternally striving for progression, and falling short, because you can always do better. That's right, as good as you are, you're not quite good enough, and if you're living right, you'll never be. Happy eternity to you.

The range of self improvement literature is wide and diverse. The 7 Habits are standard. One may own a copy of Rich Dad Poor Dad or an audiobook of How To Make Friends and Influence People. A perfection seeking Saint has no doubt followed Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life, and may even own a few books (tasteful ones, not sinful) on intimacy in marriage, such as The Act of Marriage. It is imperative to understand that to own one of the following, you had better be married (NOT ENGAGED), and any depictions in the book had better be illustrated, and not more scintillating than instructions for a new sewing machine.
Any card carrying members may embark on their quest to perfect themselves at any public library. This is recommended because thriftiness is one of 50 quadrillion things a Mormon must learn on their never ending, eternal, and ultimately impossible quest for perfection.


Tara said...

OH my gosh. I don't own this book. Maybe I'm not really mormon... My testimony has been shaken. Not stirred.

Anonymous said...

"The 7 Habits are the fifth Beatle of the standard works."

Heh heh heh. Decent.

Geebie said...

Too true. I swear, every time I talk to my bishop, he quotes from this book. I've also heard references to Covey in Fast and Testimony meeting.