Nourishing and Strengthening

To have the best glimpse into the Mormon soul, one need only listen to the prayer of a Saint to know what their most important activities and desires are. 15 prayers, usually at meals, should be all you need to know, that one of the favorite pastimes of Mormons is Nourishing and Strengthening.

Mormons love to nourish and strengthen themselves. Since sociologists first started tracking the most frequently mentioned subjects in Mormon prayers, it has been found, that not since 1942 has a meal prayer been uttered that didn’t contain the phrase or some derivative thereof “bless this food, that it may nourish and strengthen us”. It was only later in the 50’s that same food was also “doing us the good that we need”.

Mormons are obsessed with being nourished and strengthened for many reasons. First and foremost, their passion for self-improvement requires a good deal of fortitude. It is only through rigorous nourishing and strengthening that perfection may be obtained. Likewise, the phrase undeniably sounds better than blessing food “so that it is tasty and good for us”. There is also a commonly held belief that even one omission of the phrase may lead to serious physical deformities, freak salmonella and/or arsenic poisoning, and a gradual decrease in muscle tone and/or mass.

While vain repetitions are frowned upon in Mormon circles, it is difficult, neigh impossible to purify food without using this empowering phrase. An exercise at least as challenging as a middle tier Sudoku puzzle for Mormons is to try to bless food using an alternate phrase. While not as aesthetically pleasing, the outcome might be a delightfully pleasant surprise.

Or a nice case of the runs. Be warned.